Switch On You
by thanatophilia
Summary: Take a closer look at what's really haunting you.
1. call me

It's difficult to pull apart. They're a part of something, an image.

Hikaru and Kaoru.

Honey and Mori.

Slave and Master, but Kaoru swears he isn't that bitter about the way things are. He swears that he loves his brother, because he does but he hates the way Hikaru's eyes wander to Haruhi and then back like he's reluctant. Kaoru hates helping him just so Hikaru can falter on the uptake. Just so Hikaru can put a hand on his hip while he's trying to sleep. He hates the way Hikaru won't notice how his eyes wander to Mori and then back like he's so very reluctant.

Kaoru doesn't often wonder what Mori thinks, but he wonders if everyone knows. That they aren't playing. He wonders if Mori regrets this and he wonders if maybe he should just stop reaching for something he can't have because there's no way to break the symmetry. He won't ever not be Hikaru's brother and Takashi won't ever not be Mitsukuni's cousin.

He's never been ashamed of himself like this before. He's always been the one with control over his emotions, he doesn't do things he would regret. He can't rightfully regret it either because he still loves his brother.

They've been in this place so long, where the only words were us and them. Accusatory and divided right down the center: us and them.

Hikaru doesn't want it anymore and neither does Kaoru. They want friends, they want to laugh and play with everyone else and things are changing. They can't be us and them anymore. There has to be you and me and him and her and sometimes, if Hikaru is in the right mind, there can be we.

Kaoru isn't content to only have that special state of mind in the bedroom. He wants to feel like he's part of a new symmetry all the time and he looks up at Mori and Mori always knows when he's upset because those are the days when Kyouya calls them in and charges them just to keep their secret, just to arrange this way for them to be together and alone.

"Do you think…"

Mori watches him intently whenever he speaks, but right now Kaoru can't get the words out. His head droops down between his shoulders tiredly.

"Kaoru." Takashi says it with a strange kind of affection and it makes the half-felt twin look up. It makes him feel ashamed and he crawls forward over the couch until he's in Mori's arms.

"I'm sorry."

"Mm." He conveys boundless sympathy in one syllable and the caring underlain there shoots straight through Kaoru's heart.

* * *

**Standard Disclaimers.**


	2. red

It's the second time this week that Kyouya has asked Kaoru and Mori to stay with him.

Tamaki says something asinine about how "Mommy needs to have a talk with her naughty boys". He doesn't actually know what they're talking about either and Hikaru, for one, is sick of it.

Honey, for his part, is oblivious to the whole affair until he finally manages to hurt himself in that half-hour when Mori isn't there and is left in the—more annoying than helpful—arms of his female classmates.

When Kaoru appears in their class and hands over his excuse—which the teacher doesn't really care about because "Oh, you were just with Mr. Ohtori, he had something to discuss with you"—Hikaru looks up at his twin scowling. The atmosphere gets worse when Kaoru sits down and keeps his eyes up front, as if this isn't some serious breach of their agreement as twins.

"What's up?" Hikaru whispers, his mischievous hands working a piece of paper into a series of little balls for flicking.

"Nothing," Kaoru whispers back, putting his hand on top of Hikaru's; stopping a chance to be a pest.

Hikaru tenses for a moment, startled into silence before elaborating, "What did the Prince of Shadows want?"

Kaoru glances at him. "He just wanted to tell Mori and me something."

"And that was?" Hikaru hisses, exasperated. This time he's too loud, the teacher glances at them dully.

"Hitachiin?"

They both stand up. Normally there is no point to describing them respectively, as their expressions hardly falter and are never different, except for now. Kaoru is like a placid, droopy-eyed dog, Hikaru like a cornered cat.

"Conjugate the verb, please, H—"

"Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt." Kaoru says quickly. They both sit down while the teacher gives a little frown.

"Next time, please allow me to finish," she scorns.

Kaoru does not expect Kyouya to call him again. Not after their shirked duties led to Honey's injury. Several weeks pass without a word and Kaoru can't say he's surprised, but he is disappointed and he keeps looking to Mori for some kind of sign, but Mori won't take his eyes off Mitsukuni.

Kaoru doesn't like to lie to himself. He's not just disappointed, he's saddened and hurt and resigned to it. Hikaru keeps _asking_ him what's wrong and Kaoru honestly doesn't think he can tell him, which makes everything just a tiny bit more terrible.

His steps feel sluggish, his eyes feel tired, his fingers clumsy and Hikaru keeps asking and Kaoru keeps being unable to say.

"Kaoru and More, stay with me, if you please," Kyouya calls from his desk. The others do not seem to notice as they shuffle away. Only Hikaru turns sharply to stare at the vice-president. Kyouya Ohtori's most chilling gaze comes to level on him and… Hikaru feels weak and awful when he leaves without a word and without his twin.

Kaoru waits until the door to the Third Music Room is at least shut before he approaches Kyouya's desk. Mori is already standing at attention and Kaoru wants to let his voice crack and his emotions come out and ask just what the Hell is going on. Surprisingly, when he gets close enough to the desk, Takashi slides his arms around his waist and pulls him in close, stooping down far enough to meet his mouth.

The words are gone by the time their lips touch and it takes Kyouya's polite cough to bring them back.

"W-what's…?" Kaoru asks, shaken to the core. His lips feel swollen and wet and he can't look away from Mori, who is looking at him with his silent, animal intensity.

"As to the fee—"

"I-i don't—"

"Mori-senpai has paid it."

Kaoru can't even find it in himself to complain that Kyouya charges them for this because Kyouya _understands_. Kaoru feels a stab of guilt at making him watch but not giving him anything except a little pocket change, but there's no other way for this to begin to end. There's no way this will work per se, but Kaoru doesn't care; he doesn't care at all.

Kaoru thinks he might cry from happiness, but the flash of panic on Mori's face when his eyes start to water makes him stop.

"I didn't think after Honey and…"

"Hmm."

Mori's mouth is warm and possessive and his arms are strong. Kaoru thinks it would be ironic if he tasted like fruit, because he knows he is the weak one.

He's forsaken Eden and he isn't sure he wishes to return.

* * *

**Standard Disclaimers.**


End file.
